To Be Us
by AnneHara
Summary: AD/MM Fanfiction. AU. Does not comply with the series. Minerva returns from the Muggle World after fleeing her magical life. Windowed and alone, the mistakes she has made continue to follow her.


Chapter One

She was clad in black silk which came up to her throat and covered her feet. She walked through the crowd like a thin wisp of cloud, a start contrast to the colourfully attired witches and wizards who bustled through Diagon Alley. A pale face sat beneath dark, slightly curled hair which was pinned up high on her head. A youthful glow hid beneath sorrow which clung to her eyes in dark circles, her pointed features drawn and overwrought. Her pale mouth was set in a thin, straight line and those eyes, those emerald which illuminated her whole face, were wide and dull, filled with a grief in which she was lost. Twenty-five years old and yet she looked like an old woman, a woman who felt the weight of the world on her shoulders, who had no chance of turning back. A hopeless girl, a girl who had no direction, no purpose except to wander the streets in a daze and mourn.

Albus, who was standing in the doorway of Ollivander's in an attempt to shield himself from the drizzle of rain which rolled over, noticed her straight away. He noticed her silent, solemn figure and his heart twisted and turned in his chest. Minerva Mcgonngall was a ghost of her former self. Albus hadn't seen her since she had fled from their world and the change was horrific. Gone was her pride and dignity which had oozed from her movements, gone was the pale blossom in her cheeks.

As her figure moved further and further into the distance, Albus panicked. Guilt and shame mingled like an incorrectly brewed potion is his stomach. The doorway was becoming crowded now as people waited outside in an orderly line, eager to purchase their wands, making it more difficult for Albus to see her. He was a tall man, taller than most but still, she was slipping away, out of his sight, like she had before. Only that time, he'd been able to push her from his mind for what choice had he had? Now, however, his soul would not be able to rest easy if he just let her walk away, alone and without a friend.

With a dry mouth, he politely but pointedly made his way throw the crowds, his strides wide in the effort to catch up to her. Within moments, he was behind her and instinctively held out a hand to tap her shoulder, only to quickly pull in back to his side. He shouldn't startle her like that and so instead called her name.

Minerva turned slowly, almost reluctantly and it took a second for her to phase back into life. At first, she looked at him as if she didn't know him, as if he were a memory that she was trying to recall. But then, her eyes focused and her mouth fell open, shocked, frightened. "Albus," she whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't know that you had come back," he said, keeping his eyes on her face. "I hadn't heard from you."

"No," she replied. "I'm staying with Poppy for the moment until I…well, until the baby arrives." Subconsciously her hand rose to sit on the small neat bump which protruded from her thin frame.

It hadn't taken long for the subject to be brought up and reluctant Albus acknowledged the baby which was growing inside her, desperately wishing that it were his and detesting himself for it. "When I wrote to you, you said that you were going to stay in the Muggle world."

"And I meant it, at the time," Minerva said. "But things change. I was only there because of what happened and him, of course. Now that he's no longer there, why should I stay? It's better that I move as far away from it as possible. As far away from him."

"I see," Albus said quietly. "Minerva, I've wanted to speak to you for so long, to apologise-"

"How is Mrs Dumbledore?" Minerva asked, cutting across Albus. "I hope that she is well."

"She is, thank you. She asks after you all of the time."

"She shouldn't. She deserves better ways to use her time."

"She's so very fond of you, you know that. She'll be so pleased to know that you are back, I know I am. It's a relief-"

"Don't, Albus," Minerva held up her hand. Her voice was tight and commanding, the first glimpse she had revealed of the Minerva Albus knew so well. "I hadn't expected to see you here today or I wouldn't of come."

"I just want to make sure that you are well. Coping. We're friends-"

Minerva laughed bitterly. "I think we passed that months ago! Why are you here, Albus?"

"I'm on my way to the Ministry-"

"No, I mean why are you here, talking to me?"

"As I said, I was worried-"

"Oh, it's a bit late for that! Where were you when…when-" she shook her head. "Just go home, Albus. There's nothing I want from you or to hear from you. To much has happened, too much for us to go back. Everything has changed and it will be that way forever."

Albus has nothing to say. She was right and he didn't want her to be. All he could do was stand pathetically before her, trying to fight the pain of his breaking heart. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Go back to your wife, Albus," Minerva hissed before turned her back on him and hurrying away.


End file.
